1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
>
>2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
>
>3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your
>pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
>
>4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
>
>5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into
>a calculator.
>
>6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
>
>7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
>
>8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have
>a fire in your back garden.
>
>10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
>
>11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
>
>12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
>
>13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
>
>14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
>
>15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
>
>16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
>
>17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call
>your teacher mum or dad.
>
>18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at
>the first given opportunity.
>
>19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
>
>20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half
>way through and then raced against the flush.
>
>21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
>
>22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
>
>23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
>
>24) You never ever run out of salt.
>
>25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
>
>26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
>
>27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got
>your hand or head stuck in something.
>
>28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
>
>29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has
>had their arm broken by a swan.
>
>30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on
>an upturned plug.
>
>31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
>
>32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece
>of wood specifically to stir paint with.
>
>33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
>
>34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
>
>35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
>
>36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting
>it in a fruit salad
>



>Some questions

>1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get
>undressed?
>
>2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down
>to the core of the earth?
>
>3. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
>
>4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your arse?
>
>5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you
>do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?
>
>6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
>
>7. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
>
>8. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for
>centuries' have a 'use by' date?
>
>9. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
>horrible crisp no one would eat?
>
>10. Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
>
>11. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll
>squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?
>
>12. What do people in China call their good plates?
>
>13. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time,
>but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
>
>14. What do you call male ballerinas?
>
>15. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
>
>16. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
>
>17. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
>vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
>
>18. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a
billion
>stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is
>wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
>
>19. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
>
>20. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad
>at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out of
>the window?!

When driving through a small gap (ie between two badly parked cars) it is the law that your have to hold your breath and squeeze/scrunch your shoulders together to make your car smaller.